boyfriend needed for family events- will feed

In an attempt to avoid beginning EVERY family gathering explaining that I’m not dating anyone and yes I do have friends because I’ve lived here over 6 years and am very likable I’m on the search for a temporary boyfriend, just to take the heat off for a while.

REQUIREMENTS

Basic hygiene

Willingness to drive me back from the westside after family dinner so I can drink while I get insulted for two hours. (You don’t need a car. I can drive there.)

Excellent listening face- Enjoyment of world war II stories a plus.

Improv background highly recommended. This will allow you to make up a fabulous career for yourself and back it up with fake facts. My grandfather is impressed by money and titles. Knowledge CEO and presidential type things is a bonus.

Minorities are welcome but ethnic names will not remembered and most likely altered to something vaguely similar sounding but easier to remember.

YOU GET:

Free dinner (the food is actually very good!)

The chance to verbally spar with a spoiled fifteen year old from Beverly Hills who thinks she knows about politics.

Valuable contacts at the UCLA Hillel, free passes to art exhibits.

Swimming pool access (WARNING: if you aren’t extremely fit my grandmother will poke you and tell you’re fat. She’s also been known to hand out whitening toothpaste if she thinks it’s needed so if you want to save on toiletries this is the job for you! )

Cheers!

Leah